How to Approach New People With Ease?

My parents always used to tell me, "You won't be able to hold a conversation with a stranger. They'll eat you alive in the blink of an eye!" At first, I refused to believe that because I was the one who could talk my friends’ ears off every single time. But then again... they were the people I knew and was comfortable with.

What about the new people we meet in life? Like during the time I had to leave home all alone for two months!

How do I handle myself?

I was the kind of guy who didn't remember directions, who didn't know the most famous pizza place in his own city and who simply wouldn't leave the house alone. Yet, I was getting out for the first time in my life—for two whole months, no less!

I am talking about the time I got a research internship at IISER Mohali in June 2025. Very soon, I was going to find myself in a place filled with people whose intellectual prowess scared me as much as it inspired me. “How would I handle myself?” was all I could think about.

Smile and Nod

A smile is the ultimate weapon for breaking the barrier between being strangers and making the first move. When your eyes meet, just smile and nod (if culturally appropriate).

In a place filled with people just like me, who were as clueless and new to the institute, all walking around in random directions, our eyes met strangers all the time. If they kept looking for longer than two seconds, an unspoken, socially accepted rule was followed with the simplest instruction: to smile and nod. The next step would be to walk towards each other and say the most difficult first word, "Hello!"

Leveraging Connections and Previous Interactions

Have you seen or met this person before? Perhaps you saw them with someone you know, or at a place you both visit? Bring that up! All you need is a conversation starter and talking about past interactions is a great way to do just that.

On my first day, I did not talk to anybody new until dinner. It was when I was looking for a seat in the mess that I saw a girl I had noticed earlier at the main gate, where she was also registering as an intern. Everybody else was an alien, but she was slightly less alien. I walked up to her, smiled, nodded, said hello and asked, "Can I sit with you?"

That was all I needed to do. Literally.

Crack a Joke

Who doesn't like to laugh? People who are out of their minds... I guess?

A great way to avoid awkwardness in a conversation is to make a funny remark. This funny remark could be related to your previous interaction. Do not fabricate anything or force something funny out of the situation. If something genuinely worth sharing happened, say it or ask them about it if it involved them. Alternatively, you can give the person a genuine compliment. Please do not mix the two—that would be a recipe for disaster!

I had actually encountered the same girl once more before dinner. I needed the mess owner’s phone number, so I went to ask the hostel warden. He gave it to me but funny enough, I missed a digit... and kept trying a nine-digit number outside of his office. After about five minutes, I noticed it and went back inside. I told the warden and of course, the girl heard it too and we shared a chuckle. Now, this was the perfect thing to bring up when I properly met her at dinner. I did that and we shared a good laugh.

Find Something Common

When two people meet, they meet under certain circumstances in a particular place. Now there must be something in common for both of them that brought them there in the first place, right? Once you find that, there you go, another thing to talk about. Share your connection to it and ask about theirs.

We talked about the research topics of our internship, of course. You can talk about whatever brought you together. Remember to take genuine interest and not ask random questions just for the sake of asking them.

Lead with curiosity.

Go on a Walk

Walks are the best in my opinion. Every conversation that I had on a walk and all the new people I met during a walk felt a thousand times easier than a work environment, class, lab, or even the dinner table.

A walk gives you five advantages:

• You do not have to make eye contact

• You can literally talk about a far-away tree or a giant building or a frog you almost squashed

• Silence and just walking quietly is acceptable and not as awkward

• You might find someone else to join you

• It's good for your health!

One night, we had an event extravagantly titled “Game Night” in an email that got all of us interns quite excited. We were all supposed to gather in the hall of a specific hostel because apparently the institute had arranged several games there for us. By the way, there were more than 250 interns in total.

So, a small group of four or five people that I was a part of, all gathered after dinner to go to this game night. To our disappointment, the games they had arranged for 250 people consisted of two 60-inch displays connected to a PlayStation and an Xbox, with only four controllers in total. And the hall was hotter than the underside of a blackened frying pan. Later, that night was famously titled, "Fraud Night" by one of my friends.

As everyone left the hall, we suddenly found ourselves surrounded by new faces. What better chance to meet new people than when a literal swarm of people with shared trauma is heading right towards you? We met over fifteen new people that night, learnt about their work, shared our personal stories and we did all of that while walking...

They say, "walk the talk," but I say, "talk on that walk!"

Conclusion

Make it fun. Make yourself fun to talk to (coming soon).

Leave a good impression by being genuine, respectful of their boundaries and by asking good questions.

Go on that walk!

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